back it up

i hate this feeling. i'm overwhelmed by emotion. and i can't really tell you why. other than this one thought that keeps running through my mind.

maybe its because you will be semi-unreachable for a few months. or maybe its that i feel like whatever "us" could have been just got shut down.

i'm not going to lie, i don't get this. i know that its your dream, but why? or a better question is why can't i support it? it probably has something to do with the fact that i don't know if this is really the best option for you. but who knows. maybe this experience will change your heart. maybe it will give you direction and passion.

regardless, if i really care the way i say i do, now is the time to back it up. its time for me to support your dreams. to encourage you, rather than asking endless questions. because if i really care, then i am going to have your back on this.

so while i'm waiting for you to come home, i'll pray. for your experience, and for my attitude.