miss independent

so i've been told that i've become very free-spirited and independent.

and i suppose its true. but the funny thing is that part of me has always wanted to be that way. i've just never really felt like it. i mean other than when i'm driving with the convertible top down on a sunny day...

but on the other hand, i don't think people realize how much i need them. not in the "i just couldn't live without you" kind of way, but rather in the "i love that you're part of my life" way. there is a reason that i have friends. i think they are awesome.

so the free-spirited idea is also up for debate. in one sense, i have become my own person. however at the same time, i can see all the ways that i have transformed and conformed to various pieces of my life. right now i feel like i'm a really fluid person. i become what i need to become based upon the situation. not that i'm a jelly-fish. just that i will adjust and compensate to be what is needed.

basically, its all about perspective. i do want to be independent and free-spirited (not in the hippie- pot smoking way) but that doesn't necessarily mean that i've arrived in either of those destinations.

empty

my room is half empty.

my first year at the arbor is almost over. the memories... the people...

i was telling a friend earlier, i think good-bye is my least favorite word. it seems as if we are always working towards an ending, but now its here, and i'm not ready.

i know this summer will be amazing and next year will be even better. but i like how things are right now. and i will miss people. i will miss this life this summer.

in short, things are getting emotional here at the dorm. leaving is never easy.

one of those days

its one of those days. on of those days when my relationship with God is clicking. when i'm making new friends, and growing closer to other friends. its just one of those days that reminds you why the difficult ones are worth it.

its not about everything in life being perfect. or about me being perfect, because i'm not. its about making the most out of whats here now.